The Way Back

When he was born, I barely slept. On most early mornings I would lie open hearted, wide eyed, awake in awe of how much light his tiny body radiated. The dawn’s light was pale in comparison, and as he slept I would attempt to synchronize our breaths. He kept me still.

Then she was born and as I tried to catch his breath, she nudged me along. Terrific and fierce, yet comfortable, and unlike me, at ease, no rest for the weary, no time to second guess, her way, right away, was the only way, I had to trust.

Now with the lightness of his being and the ease of her flow, I walk forward to face my greatest fears, and I struggle less, because I know. I do not walk alone to become the mother that they need. And this way to be their mother is the sweetest pathway, the pathway back to me.